Comments on: There are No Small Engines; Just Small Minds

By: Heroes in Rehab: the blog » For Maple Leafs Annual Buyers: A Welcome

Heroes in Rehab: the blog » For Maple Leafs Annual Buyers: A Welcome — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 15:35:30 +0000

[...] If you’re interested, you can read other things I’ve written on this site about the Leafs by clicking on this link (well, at least the ones I remembered to tag properly). I also write about some other things, mostly my life in small-town southern Ontario on a piece of property I call “Juniorvania”. One of my favourite posts, for example, has to do with the time my riding lawnmower tried to kill me. [...]

By: May Day: Let the Chores Begin « Heroes in Rehab: the blog

May Day: Let the Chores Begin « Heroes in Rehab: the blog — Mon, 04 May 2009 03:58:05 +0000

[...] cutting the lawn – an inconvenient recurring nuisance for some – has, in the past been more of a life-threatening spirit quest for me. Sunday's [...]

By: Nice Column: How About Vaccuuming, Dude? « Heroes in Rehab: the blog

Nice Column: How About Vaccuuming, Dude? « Heroes in Rehab: the blog — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 18:15:27 +0000

[...] games only), I write a lot about my lawn tractor and stuff around the house. You might enjoy some of those [...]

By: 2008: A Year in Review « Heroes in Rehab: the blog

2008: A Year in Review « Heroes in Rehab: the blog — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 15:47:57 +0000

[...] doesn’t matter which angle you look at it from, May was defined by my struggles with a Craftsman Lawn Tractor; to this day, the phrase “Craftsman Lawn Tractor” is one of the search phrases that [...]

By: Founders’ Day Recap « Heroes in Rehab: the blog

Founders’ Day Recap « Heroes in Rehab: the blog — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 02:59:31 +0000

[...] Once our bug shelter was up, assorted recreational athletic activities commenced, courtesy of the colourful collection of toys previously mentioned. Our nephew Thomas was suitably cautioned that no swimming events were scheduled for this year’s festivities, and instead presented with a colourful “Cars” themed inflatable ball, which he proceeded to pursue, tackle, lie on, hug, wrestle with, bounce off, kick, punch, hip bump and generally devote his entire attention to for the balance of the afternoon. Frisbees were thrown, cocks were shuttled briskly to and fro, and the air fairly crackled with the plastic whiffle of the jai alai ball as it was snapped back and forth across the playing grounds. All of this athletic exuberance was thirsty work, and it soon dawned on us that the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms had very much let us down by failing to procure any of the aforementioned items; this deficiency was felt most profoundly in the cold BEvERage department, and my father was dispatched at once on a humanitarian mission of mercy to re-supply the poor unfortunates exerting themselves on our front lawn, all of whom were in grave danger of coughing up dust and a few pounds of inhaled mosquitoes. There was an abortive attempt to engage the youth of Juniorvania in the sport of bocce, but the lawn proved as tricky a surface (and as much a challenge) for our young athletes as it previously has for certain lawn tractor pilots. [...]

By: » Stout Hearted and Enthusiastic Heroes in Rehab: the blog: Trying to measure a moment.

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 15:57:11 +0000

[...] lesser man might assume that the fact that his former mower tried to kill him, leading to the costly (but extremely exciting) purchase of a brand spankin’ new authentic JD [...]

By: junior

junior — Sat, 31 May 2008 20:01:06 +0000

Whoa, that’s freaky. The devil been watchin’ me, that’s for sure – ’cause I DO have the belts slightly too tight (mostly around my waist, mind you) – and RANDOM PARTS too!

I think the exorcism is an excellent idea. I don’t know if the water is holy; does “funky” count?

By: Mike

Mike — Thu, 29 May 2008 02:39:07 +0000

And the devil said to Junior:

Yea, and I cast upon thee The WHEELIE of Great Distress. Inasmuch as WHIRLING blades of DOOM shall always be attached to the bottom of thy tractor, greatly shall I labor to expose these blades to the wonders of sky and air. Full shall be thy distress; full it shall be as to greatly increase thy doubts of survival.

And if my WHEELIE shall not suffice, then I shall curse random THINGYS to malfunction and maltreat thy person. I have MAGNETOS to store great charges; I have BELTS ever slightly too tight; I have RANDOM PARTS that shall ever be left over following assembly.

…

I suggest an exorcism, or perhaps a baptism in holy water. How holy has the Pond become lately?

By: junior

junior — Wed, 28 May 2008 13:01:29 +0000

Twice.

By: Doug

Doug — Wed, 28 May 2008 12:41:04 +0000

I’m sure you must have, but just in case: “Did you check the air in the tires?”