{"id":27,"date":"2007-10-20T00:14:08","date_gmt":"2007-10-20T04:14:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/2007\/10\/20\/ooo-thats-scaaaaary\/"},"modified":"2007-10-21T20:54:05","modified_gmt":"2007-10-22T00:54:05","slug":"ooo-thats-scaaaaary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/2007\/10\/20\/ooo-thats-scaaaaary\/","title":{"rendered":"Ooo, THAT’S scaaaaary…"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"BLECH!\"Nothing says “scary”, old-school Mikey Myers style –\u00a0rip a scream from yo’ ass, y’all be runnin’ down the street witchoo arms wavin’ – like a bad ass jack-o’-lantern.<\/p>\n

For best results, might I recommend the following:\u00a0<\/p>\n

(1) carve the said gourd according to the complicated plans of an adamant six year old about three or four weeks too early;<\/p>\n

(2) leave the bellicose fruit in an uncovered area, where it will be terrifyingly unprotected from the rain;<\/p>\n

(3) apply no preservatives, lacquers, veneers or any other terror-reducing protective\u00a0coating to the interior surface of the totem;<\/p>\n

(4) allow\u00a0neighbourhood squirrels to\u00a0gnaw away randomly at the eye-holes and other orifices of \u00a0the diseased squash;<\/p>\n

(5) wait patiently for the inexorable march of organic chemsitry; and<\/p>\n

(6) cover your eyes or prepare to scream, ’cause you now have – a BARFING PUMPKIN.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nothing says “scary”, old-school Mikey Myers style – rip a scream from yo’ ass, y’all be runnin’ down the street witchoo arms wavin’ – like a bad ass jack-o’-lantern.<\/p>\n

For best results, might I recommend the following: <\/p>\n

(1) carve the said gourd according to the complicated plans of an adamant six year old about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,16],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}