{"id":92,"date":"2008-02-23T11:49:43","date_gmt":"2008-02-23T16:49:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/2008\/02\/23\/good-wishes\/"},"modified":"2008-02-23T11:53:41","modified_gmt":"2008-02-23T16:53:41","slug":"good-wishes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/2008\/02\/23\/good-wishes\/","title":{"rendered":"Announcements 101"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Around 5:00 p.m the other day, building maintenance staff were preparing to conduct some sort of test of the emergency alarm system.\u00a0 First, there was a piercing beep that came out of the speakers installed in the ceiling throughout the building.\u00a0\u00a0 Next came the voice of some poor bastard (note to <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/2008\/02\/21\/meme-first\/#comment-107\" title=\"Bastard Typologies\">Mike<\/a>:\u00a0 not &#8220;rat bastard&#8221;), probably from security, who had been elected to make the dorky pre-alarm test announcement over the intercom (so as not to frighten the living bejesus out of the harried worker drones, already stressed to the uber-max by their monotonous labours for The Man).\u00a0\u00a0 I didn&#8217;t recognize the voice, so I can&#8217;t say for sure who made the announcement, and it is difficult to convey in words how the voice sounded (that&#8217;s a little bit like doing a dance about architecture), but for the limited literary purposes of this anecdote, you are requested\/permitted to imagine <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Squeaky_Voiced_Teen#Squeaky_Voiced_Teen\" title=\"Here's your taco, sir\">that kid from the Simpsons<\/a>, the one perpetually struggling with a puberty-related voice break.\u00a0\u00a0 The announcement he made is as follows:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><font color=\"#ff0000\">Attention!<\/font>\u00a0 <i>{ed. note:\u00a0 Good start there, that one&#8217;s straight from Chapter 1 of the Big Book of How to Announce Things} <\/i><font color=\"#ff0000\">We are about to conduct &#8211; er, we&#8217;re gonna do a test of the um, alarm.\u00a0 You may experience some difficulty with your electrical computers or stuff.<\/font><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>&#8230;which was fine for me, because I was using no &#8216;stuff&#8217; and a <strong>mechanical<\/strong> computer.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Around 5:00 p.m the other day, building maintenance staff were preparing to conduct some sort of test of the emergency alarm system. First, there was a piercing beep that came out of the speakers installed in the ceiling throughout the building. Next came the voice of some poor bastard (note to Mike: not &#8220;rat bastard&#8221;), [&#8230;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,26],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=92"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/92\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=92"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=92"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heroesinrehab.ca\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=92"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}