The Hockey Gods

Yesterday, I foolishly opined that the hockey gods had turned their malevolent attentions upon Ottawa fans, leaving Leaf fans alone to suffer another long, hot summer while the hopes and dreams of the Capital City bunch were crushed in agonizing fashion.

Idiot!

I tuned my virtual Intarwebs radio in to the Leafs/Senators game tonight, deliciously anticipating the beginning of the end for our cross-province rivals from the National Capital Region. It’s now just shortly after 9 p.m., the Senators are missing Daniel Alfredsson and Mike Fisher and were at one time being outshot by the Leafs, but with 3:30 remaining in the second period it’s 4-1 Senaturds and my pathetic Leafs cannot seem to muster even a faint whiff of offence that might suggest comeback.

It seems that the hockey gods, far from abandoning their mission of humiliating the Leafs and their fans – oh, fer Chrissake, it’s 5-1 Ottawa now – the gods chose instead to pummel their plaything and then appear to leave it for dead, feigning an intention to concentrate on the despoilment of another, only to reveal a further and more frustrating, disappointing and degrading level of losing for the chaps in blue and white.

I am really trying to figure out why I shouldn’t go downstairs and pound the brains out of my head with an iron bar as punishment for my own stupidity. How could I have hoped and believed that the Leafs would give me even this tiny joy in a woebegone season? I mean, Lord God and Sonny Jesus in a Sidecar, this was a year that began with one of our top-two D-men confidently and forcefully golfing the puck into his own net in overtime. Did I really expect this team to close the deal in a game like this?

Idiot.

What sacrifice do you demand for our release from your ever-lasting wrath, o cruel and capricious hockey gods?  The blood of a fatted calf?  How ’bout Kyle Wellwood instead, would that do?  What about Johnny Pohl and a second round draft choice in the ’09 draft?   Send us a sign – enough with the famine and pestilence, couldn’t we just go with a burning bush or something from here on in?

Argh.

By junior

Guitar owner and silly person.

4 comments

  1. Must have been a pretty brutal game — a shorthanded hat trick for the Sens makes it pretty clear to me that the Leafs side is already looking forward to a summer on the links.

    Perhaps they look for a complete line, instead of just a winger? Bell-Stajan-Wellwood, if that’s still a valid line (going by Yahoo! stats) might be a choice.

  2. 10:05 pm on Friday. Bruins defeat Ottawa. Sounds good to me. Not only is Ottawa on the ropes, my goalie in the hockey pool (Thomas) records another W. How can you beat that?
    By the way, I also gave up last night on the Internet radio broadcast of the game when the 5-1 goal was scored. I joined Mrs. Geez in watching “Are you smarter than a fifth grader?”. Which, as it turns out , I wasn’t. Do fifth graders still cheer for the Leafs? Just asking.

  3. O crap! Ottawa gets in because Carolina loses.
    Anyway, it clears the way for Alex Ovechkin and Washington to get in. A team I can root for! Go Alex Go!

  4. @ Mike:

    I am prepared to sacrifice Stajan and Wellwood, but Mark Bell gets to stay because he delivered this hit on Daniel Alfredsson and shut out the lights on the guy, something Alfie’s had coming from somebody in Blue & White for about six years since he hit Tucker from behind and broke his shoulder with a very dirty hit. The kicker is the amount of whining and crying coming from Ottawa about the hit, which is clean any way you watch it. Might I suggest Jason Blake as a replacement?

    @Geez:
    I couldn’t believe it either. Carolina sucks, I hate them for losing to Florida – when Florida’s got their backup in net, too. If the Leafs could’ve beaten the Senators on Thursday, the choke would’ve been complete. I say nobody is untouchable on this team except Toskala (and Bell, who gets the free pass when he gets home from jail this summer, for reasons described above). The number of times this team has come out and crapped the bed in big games over the last three years is inexcusable. Paul Maurice is a nice guy, but he’s got to go, although I suspect they’ll keep him as a body for the new GM to throw overboard when things don’t go well at the start of next year.

    I am adopting the Capitals too for the purpose of the playoffs. I love watching Ovechkin. The guy scores more than anyone else, hits about as many as anyone else, and does it cleanly – he only has 38 PIM this year. The guy has personally accounted for about 43% of the Capitals’ offense this year if you look at his points and the Caps’ total goals. Huet seems to be playing well too down the stretch, so anything is possible. I say Go Ovie Go!

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