…for my friend Melissa?
If Al Gore and a dangerously uncritical way of thinking have taught me anything, it’s that he invented the Internet some time in 1994. Since then, people the world over have been amusing one another with LOLcats, hilariously awkward teenagers playing at being a Jedi warrior, and anonymously calling one another “douchebag”. Oh, and looking at porn. Lots and lots of porn. You’re on your own for links to that last one.
Sadly almost entirely absent from all of those 17 years of e-hilarity, however, was my friend Melissa. She was the only person I knew who didn’t have access to the Internet at her house. Work blocks us out from all the educational stuff on the ‘Net – like this video of a baby laughing hysterically – so my friend missed out almost entirely on the finer things that teh Intarwebs have to offer. It’s a wonder she was able to function in society, really.
Well, no more. My friend Melissa is now hooked up. I picture her sitting down at her newly installed home computer, freshly connected to the cable modem in her house, clicking links furiously, trying like hell to catch up with the rest of us by reading the entire Internet. Got an all time favourite Internet meme that my friend should have the pleasure of experiencing for the first time ever with Internet n00b eyes? Drop a link in the comments!
In the meantime, let’s have some applause for my friend!
Picturing her frantically trying to power down her computer, to SHUT IT OFF, SHUT IT OFF, THE HORROR in about 15 minutes.
If we hook her up with the appropriate porn she may never leave the house again.
Come to think of it, I haven’t seen her in a while…
Yaaaayyyyyy Mel! Have fun!!!