Can I Have a Nice Big Friendly Welcome to the Internet…

…for my friend Melissa? If Al Gore and a dangerously uncritical way of thinking have taught me anything, it’s that he invented the Internet some time in 1994. Since then, people the world over have been amusing one another with LOLcats, hilariously awkward teenagers playing at being a Jedi warrior, and anonymously calling one another […]

Stop the Internets, I Want to Get Off

I can’t stop laughing about this comment, a delectable treat appurtenant to another brilliant piece in today’s National Post by Sean McIndoe of Down Goes Brown fame. DGB is always funny, and his piece in today’s Post is no exception.  Understand that I mean this when I tell you that notwithstanding DGB’s brilliance, the biggest […]

Invitation: The 2009-2010 Maple Leafs End of Season Banquet

Look what I found lying around yesterday… March 25, 2010 Dear Valued Employee: As a Toronto Maple Leaf player, you are invited to attend the annual Toronto Maple Leafs end-of-season banquet and awards ceremony.  This year, the banquet will be held on Saturday April 17th, 2010 at Jack Astor’s, unless of course we make the […]

Streak Over

Readers of this blog familiar with the extent of my corpulence, not to mention enemies of upchucking everywhere, will be relieved to hear that the above title refers to the end of my recent “consecutive days with a blog post” streak rather than the termination of any spirited au naturel sprint down the hiways and […]

Predictions: Donald Fehr and the NHLPA

There was a report on TSN’s website Sunday night that the National Hockey League Players’ Association is preparing to offer Donald Fehr the top job with the union.  Those of you following along at home will recall that the last fellow who was hired to do this job, Paul Kelly, was comically and hilariously quite […]

Stinky Tim’s, a Called Shot and Spouse

Last evening, I had to take a trip in to Cambridge to pick up some suits that I had purchased there a couple of days before. Spouse had been off work for most of Monday and all of Tuesday (she has apparently spontaneously developed a case of the Bubonic Plague). She claimed, despite the occasional […]

What Senators Fans and Spouse Had to Say About the Game

Both Kidkawartha (via Twitter) and MattBlack (via the Pension Plan Puppets FTB links roundup) recommended to all Leaf fans a reading of the comments in the Silver Seven Sens game thread. It is sage and wise advice, gratefully accepted and immediately productive this morning of several out-loud guffaws hereabouts.  The game thread is a written […]

Menagerie: Rogue Snake Department

Let’s play a little game, shall we?  Why don’t you tell me what species of reptile you see coiled in the leaves in the picture below.  I should mention that the little cretin was, um, what’s the word, “rattling” his tail when discovered.   By “discovered”, of course, I mean “nearly trod upon” during a brief […]

Talkin’ Bout a Revolution, it Sounds Like a Twitter

There’s a revolution coming, people. Not the “We’d like to sell you some mutual funds by incorporating music that used to be subersive into our otherwise non-threatening and highly establishment-based  television ad” kind of revolution.  Not the kind that requires a lot of marching with torches, either (which is good, because it’s been a wet […]

Portrait of the Artist as a Wrung Man

I have been working all day on a writing project that is due shortly.  The “writing process” (by which I mean “staring at the screen wondering what the hell I’ve gottem myself into”)  was going painfully slow a bit earlier,  so Spouse convinced me to take a break to go into town.  We had dry […]