Setting the Bead With Fire: A Tractor Story

Had you seen me, ’round about six o’clock in the evening on Sunday, heading in the general direction of the People’s Lawn Tractor with a gas can, some matches and a distinct air of purpose about me – well, no one would have blamed you for feeling a little uneasy.  That vague sense of foreboding […]

Am I Too Late to Enter the Toronto International Film Festival?

Much of the weekend was spent gathering things together that must be here when Furious G arrives.  Of course, one of the things he’ll need is a stylin’ ride, so we dropped some Benjamins on a pretty wicked l’il swing contraption.  It does pretty much everything except make pizza (unless I missed that page in […]

Posts From the Big (Yellow) Chair

I don’t know anything about this Foursquare business, except that it’s some sort of application that people notify about their whereabouts in an effort to earn badges about things.  To this, I say, “Badges?  We don’t need no stinkin’ badges.” Also, I humbly submit that yours truly is the Mayor of one place right now: […]


I didn’t make it through yesterday. Home early, alternately baking and freezing, nose and eyes a wellspring of all manner of unending and disgusting fluids. My Friday “can’t miss” work thingy has been rescheduled by others because THEY are ill. Spouse is covering for me otherwise (may the Wendel bless her kind soul) and I […]

Stinky Tim’s, a Called Shot and Spouse

Last evening, I had to take a trip in to Cambridge to pick up some suits that I had purchased there a couple of days before. Spouse had been off work for most of Monday and all of Tuesday (she has apparently spontaneously developed a case of the Bubonic Plague). She claimed, despite the occasional […]

Dreams of Grandeur

Spouse advises that she had a most interesting dream last night: she skated for the Toronto Maple Leafs of the National Hockey League. In real life, she has never before played a game of hockey. (This last fact, I have only just learned, and am determined to remedy somehow.) In the land of Nod, however, […]

I Love the Smell of Egg Nog in the Morning

I have been pre-occupied with issues of civil defense, ever since the brazen assassination attempt of Sunday last.   Clearly, Juniorvanian security forces must be augmented if peace, order and good government are to be domestically restored.  Accordingly, although the Government of Juniorvania prefers the dove over the hawk, it is quite clear that the dove […]

Menagerie: Rogue Snake Department

Let’s play a little game, shall we?  Why don’t you tell me what species of reptile you see coiled in the leaves in the picture below.  I should mention that the little cretin was, um, what’s the word, “rattling” his tail when discovered.   By “discovered”, of course, I mean “nearly trod upon” during a brief […]

Morning Visitors, Evening Intruder

I was up early Sunday morning and in a bit of a half-sleep reverie when it occurred to me that – most unusually – there was rather a lot of noise outside my bedroom window. When you get right down to it, I sleep about eighty-five feet from the edge of a cornfield, often indoors.  […]

Requiem for Popeye: 1993-2009

How do you say goodbye to a friend? Last night, Spouse and I were awake a little later than usual; she was idly catching up with some Facebook friends, and I had my nose buried in my newly arrived Maple Leafs Annual.  Popeye got up from his usual resting place – in front of the […]