Invitation: The 2009-2010 Maple Leafs End of Season Banquet

Look what I found lying around yesterday… March 25, 2010 Dear Valued Employee: As a Toronto Maple Leaf player, you are invited to attend the annual Toronto Maple Leafs end-of-season banquet and awards ceremony.  This year, the banquet will be held on Saturday April 17th, 2010 at Jack Astor’s, unless of course we make the [...]

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What a Day for the Leafs: Now 100% Vesa Toskala Free!

A huge day for the Toronto Maple Leafs today: they traded Matt Stajan, Nik Hagman, Ian White and Jamal Mayers to Calgary for Dion Phaneuf, Fredrik Sjostrom and Keith Aulie. Stajan, White and Mayers are all on expiring contracts, so they are essentially rentals. Hagman has two years to go on an economical 3 million [...]

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Home Opener Eve

Uncle Henry, don’t be dumb, Liquor up your youngest son! For he represents the royal army’s Chances in the war. Say hello to him for me Ask him if his dog predicts That the Maple Leafs are gonna beat Detroit For the Stanley Cup! …with apologies to Mike (a Red Wings fan that I like [...]

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Monster’s Inked: Jonas Gustavsson is a Maple Leaf

Last night, I painted a metaphorical picture of  Maple Leafs’ defenceman Francois “Happy Trails” Beauchemin and his bulky blueline brethren as  each being rather like a rampaging Godzilla, treating the opposition like so many unfortunate stomped-upon movie extras.  Today, Brian Burke brought us a real live Monster;  the Toronto Maple Leafs have signed Swedish goaltender [...]

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Happy Trails, Indeed: Francois Beauchemin is a Maple Leaf

The Maple Leafs signed defenceman Francois Beauchemin, late of the Anaheim Ducks, to a 4 year deal today.  The deal brings an annual cap hit of about $3.8 million. I am a huge fan of this signing, for several reasons: It will be hilarious to watch Montreal’s Lollipop Guild of Cammalleri, Gomez and Gionta spontaneously pee [...]

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Primer for Young Leaf Fans

Chapter One Look at the men.  They are wearing blue and white.  Why are the men wearing Blue and White?  They are Toronto Maple Leafs hockey players.   They are teammates playing a hockey game.  They wear blue and white shirts.  They wear blue and white pants.  The blue and white shirts and pants are called [...]

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The Day I Bought the Leafs.

I bought the Toronto Maple Leafs today. No, really, and although the Maple Leafs I own will never win the Stanley Cup, I’m just as happy as can be. Just to fit in with the previous owners, I told the first guy I met on the street today, “you’re fired.” I also raised the price [...]

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