HiR:tb Toots (@warwalker)

Primer for Young Leaf Fans

Chapter One

Look at the men.  They are wearing blue and white.  Why are the men wearing Blue and White?  They are Toronto Maple Leafs hockey players.   They are teammates playing a hockey game.  They wear blue and white shirts.  They wear blue and white pants.  The blue and white shirts and pants are called uniforms.  Why do the Maple Leafs hockey players wear uniforms?  If they did not wear uniforms, they could not be sure that the player they are passing the puck to is on the other team.

leaf primer

TML for Kids

Look at the men’s feet.  The men are wearing funny shoes.  The funny shoes are called skates.  Why are the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey players wearing skates?   Judging by the way the Toronto Maple Leafs are playing against the Florida Panthers, no one is really quite sure.

Look at the man at the end of the rink.  He is wearing lots of extra padding.  Who is the man wearing lots of extra padding?  His name is Vesa Toskala, and he is the Toronto Maple Leafs’ goalie.   What is a goalie?  A goalie stands in the way when men from the other team shoot the puck.   A goalie stops the puck and makes a save. Doesn’t that sound scary?  Let’s watch Vesa Toskala.  See the man with the puck?  Shoot, man, shoot!   Okay, that one went in the net.  It is not a save.  Let’s watch again.  See the man with the puck?  Shoot, man, shoot!.   Hmmm, I’m sure Vesa Toskala will stand in the way of one of these shots soon.  Maybe we should come back later.

See the man at the bench?  His name is Ron and he is a hockey coach.  He is the coach of the Toronto maple Leafs.  Coach, Ron, coach!  What does a coach do?  When the players on the team make a mistake, the hockey coach must fix it. The hockey coach must tell the players what they did wrong.  He must teach them never to do that again.  Doesn’t that sound interesting?  Would you like to talk to Coach Ron?   That would be fun,  but Coach Ron is a VERY busy man.

Look at Vesa Toskala again.  See the man with the puck?  Shoot, man, shoot!  Well, that was not a save either.   Let’s watch one more time.  See the man with the puck?  Shoot, man, shoot!  No, still not a save.  Yes, I know, I said that Vesa Toskala is a goalie.  I know I said that a goalie makes a save.   But Vesa Toskala has not made a save.  How do I know he’s a goalie?  He has a very nice mask.

See the man scowling?  His name is Brian.  Scowl, Brian, scowl.  Brian is the General Manager of  the Toronto Maple Leafs.  What is a General Manager?  The General Manager’s job is to make the team better.  The General Manager’s job is to make the team win.  Do you hear Brian talking?  Brian says bad words.  Brian says filthy words that you must never repeat.  Brian is angry.  Why is Brian angry?  Why is Brian scowling?  Why does Brian say bad words?

Wouldn’t you?

5 comments to Primer for Young Leaf Fans

  • Nice 🙂

    Do you hear Brian talking? Brian says bad words. Brian says filthy words that you must never repeat. Brian is angry. Why is Brian angry? Why is Brian scowling? Why does Brian say bad words?

    Wouldn’t you?

    Definitely.

  • *in tears*

    Well done, man. Well done!

  • Apparently, the days of my youth spent poring over Mad magazine weren’t nearly as entirely wasted as I once thought. They were still pointless, mind you. Just not as entirely wasted as I once thought.

  • Brilliant.

    He does have a very nice mask…

  • Why do the Maple Leafs hockey players wear uniforms?

    They are supposed to PASS the puck to players in the SAME uniform. Maybe the Maple Leafs hockey players are confused which uniform they are wearing. It is a colorful world, after all, and they cannot be blamed for passing the puck to anyone they see. Maybe they are just being friendly, and passing pucks to everyone!