Stop the Presses! I Finished a Project!

I Am So Dope.

Since late last week, I’ve been spending a huge amount of time working on a writing project that was due this past Tuesday.

It’s the first time I’ve been commissioned to write something for publication.  Naturally, I wanted to make as good an impression as possible, so I promptly missed my deadline  and turned in a piece that is slightly – and I have to emphasize the word “slightly” – longer than the specs called for.  I will be able to share some more details later, but my article will be published in a magazine that is targeted towards Leafs fans and written by bloggers and fans who follow the team passionately.  Heavy involvement of bloggers basically guarantees that the target audience skews younger.

Here’s how I make myself laugh sometimes.  I actually engaged in a thought process that took several hours, no word of a lie, in which I decided that it was important to write a catchy opening paragraph in an effort to draw the reader in to the piece;  I carefully analyzed the expected demographic of my audience (see above) and came to the conclusion that some smart modern humour would fit the bill.  I then set out to write the joke around which the introduction to the piece revolves.

Somehow, a paragraph that started out referring to Adam Lambert (of American Idol fame) ended up being about Dagwood Bumstead.  The truth of the matter is that I have absolutely no explanation as to how and why this happened. Modern humour?  Dagwood?  Seriously, anyone who makes it past that opening paragraph will be required to mentally picture me driving twenty miles an hour too slow in the left lane with my right blinker on, wearing a ridiculous hat and rushing to get home so I can shake my cane at the neighbourhood kids to get off my lawn.

All I can say is:  sometimes you end up with what you were shooting for; sometimes, not so much.