HiR:tb Toots (@warwalker)

Ooo, THAT’S scaaaaary…

BLECH!Nothing says “scary”, old-school Mikey Myers style – rip a scream from yo’ ass, y’all be runnin’ down the street witchoo arms wavin’ – like a bad ass jack-o’-lantern.

For best results, might I recommend the following: 

(1) carve the said gourd according to the complicated plans of an adamant six year old about three or four weeks too early;

(2) leave the bellicose fruit in an uncovered area, where it will be terrifyingly unprotected from the rain;

(3) apply no preservatives, lacquers, veneers or any other terror-reducing protective coating to the interior surface of the totem;

(4) allow neighbourhood squirrels to gnaw away randomly at the eye-holes and other orifices of  the diseased squash;

(5) wait patiently for the inexorable march of organic chemsitry; and

(6) cover your eyes or prepare to scream, ’cause you now have – a BARFING PUMPKIN.

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