Announcements 101

Around 5:00 p.m the other day, building maintenance staff were preparing to conduct some sort of test of the emergency alarm system.  First, there was a piercing beep that came out of the speakers installed in the ceiling throughout the building.   Next came the voice of some poor bastard (note to Mike:  not “rat bastard”), probably from security, who had been elected to make the dorky pre-alarm test announcement over the intercom (so as not to frighten the living bejesus out of the harried worker drones, already stressed to the uber-max by their monotonous labours for The Man).   I didn’t recognize the voice, so I can’t say for sure who made the announcement, and it is difficult to convey in words how the voice sounded (that’s a little bit like doing a dance about architecture), but for the limited literary purposes of this anecdote, you are requested/permitted to imagine that kid from the Simpsons, the one perpetually struggling with a puberty-related voice break.   The announcement he made is as follows:

Attention!  {ed. note:  Good start there, that one’s straight from Chapter 1 of the Big Book of How to Announce Things} We are about to conduct – er, we’re gonna do a test of the um, alarm.  You may experience some difficulty with your electrical computers or stuff.

…which was fine for me, because I was using no ‘stuff’ and a mechanical computer.

By junior

Guitar owner and silly person.

2 comments

  1. “…doing a dance about architecture.”
    I think that I may be able to point you to one or two first year architecture students that are willing to give it a shot.
    On a completely unrelated note:
    I had a dream last night about football. Sure, I know that is strange enough, I hardly even watch it! But, even more strange was that it was about Canadian Football being broadcast by NBC because there was an NFL strike. At one of the commercial breaks (strange that even in my dreams I can’t edit out the commercials), a title popped up on the screen advertising this blog as the place to go for all of your various CFL, hockey and general insight.
    I just thought that it was strange… and interesting.

  2. Far-outedness! But wow, to steal a bit from Good Morning Vietnam: if CFL is on NBC because NFL is AWOL we’re all going to be SOL and we’ll be put on KP ASAP.

    As for the rest of it, I see nothing “strange” about this blog being “the place to go for all of your various CFL, hockey and general insight.”

    Ahem.

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