HiR:tb Toots (@warwalker)

I declare…

…the   First Annual Founder’s Day Celebration and National Holiday, including Festivals of  Sport and Competition (a la Jacques Rogge) “a most remarkable success.”

Details to follow, but the winner of the inaugural Juniorvanian Open Championship of Par 3 Golf – with a score of 34 (+7)  – is my father in law Harold.   The rest of the family, despite a truly egregious amount of cheating, was unable to approach that level of athletic prowess, and our little Nation has its first sporting hero.  In the evening, following the conclusion of the Feats portion of our program, all of the athletes participated in a most satisfying exhibition of carnivorous and diabetic excess, with the result that some of our younger competitors were perhaps dietarily prevented from retiring for the evening in the usual and expected fashion.

Spouse and I did not share the same difficulty following the conclusion of yesterday’s festivities.  Whereas the little ones, propelled by sugary fuelIMG_3960 and the momentum of excitement, struggled to fire their retro rockets and slowly fall out of high orbit to a gentle splashdown in a cozy bed, Spouse and I instead smashed through the atmosphere on an astonishingly aggressive and direct trajectory towards Earth.  With a fiery trail marking our smoking path, we hurtled Skylab-esque into an exhausted, but very satisfied, pile of coma in our little tent on the front lawn.

Thanks to all of the athletes and participants, it was truly a Founders’ Day to remember.

4 comments to I declare…

  • I’ve been noticing, ever since I’ve become one of the elder generation, that it doesn’t matter what you fuel kids with; they must have what’s gotta be the most efficient conversion system known to man, Matrix be damned. My nephew, fueled by half a piece of toast at breakfast, proceeded to chase down pigeons in the park for half an hour and then, sweating heavily at the science museum, focus with scary intensity on a sand pendulum tracing out a lissajous for another hour. Revived by two french fries at lunch, he then proceeded to race other local park fauna (squirrels, dogs, etc.) for the remainder of the afternoon. It was exhausting merely to watch. You know there’s a profit in this somewhere …

  • mom

    Here it is one week later, and I have not congratulated the golf winner. Of course spouses father also won at blowing up baloons, , settin up tents, and feeding young children. I think he must have been resting the whole week before founder’s day. I know I could have done better at golf if I had not worried so much about the fact that the children might be napping while the seniors play golf, for two hours. Then going back and have to baby-sit six lively, lovely children. Well rested they might have been. I had thought that the seniors could fake the score card, and go out to lunch. Well, I was the big looser of the golf game, but that does not matter. The day was great, no children slept while we were away, the food, games, company and entertainment was supburb. Looking forward to beating someone in golf next year, even if it is only Thomas. Mom

  • I don’t know, that Tommy looked pretty cagey out on the lawn chasing after that ball – he’s going to have plenty of practice keeping his eye on the ball, not to mention his entire body, by the time we finally put a niblick in his hand.

    Glad you enjoyed the day, we had fun too. By the way, who are you counting as the sixth kid? Mike?

  • […] July and August were pretty slow around these parts.  I had excuses:  I blamed a fishing trip (the full account of which is in the “promised, but undelivered” category), the hitching of my brother Doug, and preparations for the First Annual Founders’ Day, including the inaugural Juniorvanian Open Championship of 3-Par Golf. […]