HiR:tb Toots (@warwalker)

Man vs. Pond, 2009 Edition

The Pond_2477

This Small Body of Water is One Up on Junior After Today's Events

JUNIORVANIA (JP):  In the annual season-opening yardwork test match, the score today was:

POND   1

MAN     0

Detailed scoring summary and complete game recap to follow. 

Meanwhile, Captain of the Juniorvanian Men’s Team and Beloved Leader of the Homeland Junior is listed as “day-to-day” with an upper body injury, dirty overalls and a sense of significant embarrasment about his most recent spectacular display of public stupidity.


Update (Sunday May 10): Seems my somewhat quixotic description above has left more than a few people wondering what specific mischief has been occasioned to my person, what got severed, etc.  Fear not!  Please hold your calls, emails and other expressions of concern (and by all means don’t clear your Junior Injury Bingo cards yet); it’s nothing serious, just some bruised ribs and a suitably diminished sense of self-worth.  More to follow when today’s match is complete and I can spend some quality time at the keyboard.

5 comments to Man vs. Pond, 2009 Edition

  • geezer

    I can hardly wait to hear this one. Hopefully the upper body injury will heal quickly and the match can resume without delay.

  • I hope that you can overturn the early deficit. Ponds have had it out for humans since the beginning of time when we escaped their evil clutches in some sort of hybrid fish/lizard form.

  • @ geez: More to come later. I’m a “game time decision” but I think the Coach is sending me in to work through it.

    @PPP: Ponds are treacherous villains! Fiends! Rogues and blackguards, I say! I am going to take it shift-by-shift though and play MY game in an effort to come back.

  • Mom

    You know you are playing with your father’s head. He can’t wait to hear the story about your injury. Get to it my boy! Geezer is getting old. Mom

  • I’m working on it, but it has occurred to me that – unless this tale is told in precisely the right way – it might seem to some (quite improperly, of course) that I am an amusing or ridiculous person. There are nuances to the narrative that need to be tweaked just so in order to give the narrative the weighty import it deserves.