UPDATE: Pierre McGuire Still Ridiculous

My earlier post on Pierre McGuire’s controversial system of anatomy was picked up by Puck Daddy.  Kudos to Greg Wyshynski for choosing to shine a light on Pierre’s ridiculous dissembling about this hit.

A few minutes after I posted the video (and my writing on the subject) last night, I saw another clip on TSN where the panel discussed Zack Kassian’s hit on Petr Senkeris.  As you’ll see in this clip, to Bob McKenzie‘s credit, he’s no longer really disputing the fact that Kassian’s hit on Senkeris was high, calling it a “pretty obvious” penalty.  Good for him.

As for our friend Mr. McGuire, it would appear that he has abandoned his novel Chinstrap Impact Postulate (by which the wearer of a helmet may – remarkably – cause himself to be struck in the area of the teeth, otherwise known in this logical construct as “the chest”, simply by loosening the chin strap).  Ah well, theories and theses are often abandoned rather summarily in the hurly-burly world of exploratory physics.  Replacing the Chinstrap Impact Postulate, however, is a Theory of Temporary But Extreme Random Opacity, according to which some unknown physical phenomena appeared near centre ice at the HSBC Centre last night, and then briefly disrupted the properties of all light waves emitting from the general vicinity of this collision, causing certain portions of the event to be temporarily but totally obscured from view.

I wish him better luck with this theory.

Oh, and to the YouTube commenters who want to talk about the Czech player “having his head down”, “needing to be more aware, etc.” – please wipe the spittle off your chins and go back to watching Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em 9.  You’ve missed the point again.

Pierre McGuire: Blind or Just Obsequious?

pierre_mcguire
Not pictured: Tin Foil Hat Mr. McGuire Should Be Wearing

Like most of Canada this time of year, I was watching Canada/Czech Republic at the World Junior Hockey Championship from Buffalo last night on TSN.   For the second game in a row, Team Canada started in a bit of a sleepwalking mode and surrendered an early goal.  Also for the second game in a row though, the young men on this team (to their credit) sucked it up and stormed back to dominate the game.  By the end of the first, though the score was only 2-1 for Canada, it was clear that this game was going to be a rout;  in the final half of the  period, long stretches of play had unfolded without respite in the Czech Republic’s zone. It was only a matter of time before the Canucks lit the lamp a few more times, and the Czechs were showing no signs of any offensive spark.

That is indeed how the game unfolded, with Canada cruising to a 7-2 win.  So dominant were the Canadians in this game that it became a bit of a dud as far as entertainment value goes;  with the result never really in doubt after the first ten minutes, there wasn’t much to keep a viewer glued to the tube in this one.

What little excitement there was ended up being provided by Zack Kassian’s second period hit on Petr Senkerik.  Specifically, the excitement arose from the fact that Kassian hit Senkerik in the head (not to mention rather late).  Kassian’s bodycheck appeared to knock the Czech forward unconscious.  He was removed from the ice on a stretcher, and Kassian was assessed a five minute major penalty and a game misconduct.

Now, I have watched this tournament and cheered for Team Canada every holiday season for as long as I can remember.  I want Canada to reclaim the gold medal pilfered from us last year by a plucky American squad.  I have nothing against Zack Kassian.

But Kassian’s hit on Senkerik was a blow to the head.  I saw it.  The referees saw it.  Probably something like 4 million Canadians saw it.  For some reason, though, TSN analyst and notorious loudmouth Pierre McGuire either didn’t or wouldn’t see it.  Almost immediately following the play, he began braying that Kassian was being penalized unjustly.  As he did so, TSN’s own replay clearly showed – from two angles – that McGuire was wrong.  It is not possible that he failed to see these replays, which were shown numerous times by the network.  Having noisily and publicly committed himself to a differing version of reality, however, the obnoxious McGuire continued to assert something that was, and is, obviously not true: that Kassian had hit Senkerik in the chest with his shoulder.   To my eyes and ears, McGuire came off as stubborn and ridiculous as he repeatedly decried- and I do mean repeatedly, no horse being too bereft of life for Mr. McGuire to administer yet another beating – the inequities visited upon Kassian by the presiding officials.   Silly and annoying, but mostly harmless.

Where McGuire took things to another level was during his post-game analysis as part of TSN’s panel.  Unsurprisingly, the stubborn McGuire clung to his misguided version of events; incredibly, however, he actually claimed that the impact was caused by Senkerik’s failure to properly secure the chinstrap on his helmet.  It was good of TSN’s Bob McKenzie to gently, if only implicitly, chide McGuire at the outset of the panel segment (McKenzie claimed that when he first saw the clip, he thought Kassian had struck Senkerik’s chest, but that after reviewing the clip again, he had begun to believe it was a head shot), but someone on the panel, either moderator James Duthie or McKenzie himself, ought to have called McGuire on the ridiculous assertion that Senkerik’s loose-fitting headgear was responsible for the impact.  McGuire’s assessment of these events makes about as much sense as a person believing that John F. Kennedy would have fared better that fateful day in Dallas if only he had been wearing more sturdy footwear.

Nobody on TSN called McGuire on his ridiculous blabber;  HiR:tb’s elves in the A.V. department, however, took a wee break from chug-a-lugging egg nog and sleeping under their desks to bring you the following video summary of the incident:

Pierre McGuire: He’s Barking, I’m Mad

I  think the first virtue is to restrain the tongue: he approaches nearest to the Gods, who knows how to be silent, even though he is in the right.

– Cato

It ain’t a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you’re talking about.

– Kin Hubbard

I had the inestimable pleasure of watching Game 7 of the Boston-Carolina series last night on TSN.  Gord Miller was the play-by-play announcer and Pierre McGuire was the colour man providing his amplitude-enhanced analysis literally throughout the program.

Those who have survived broadcasts featuring Mr. McGuire’s garrulous, high-decibel work will know, or certainly suspect, that he has never had a thought pass through his mind that did not (in his opinion) warrant being related aloud immediately.  These frequent and vociferous pronouncements, packed quickly and tightly into the sometimes miniscule or imperceptible gaps between the play by play, may seem  – to those unfamiliar with Pierre’s unfortunate condition – unusual or even objectionable.

Gr8 Game Seven Coming

Watching Game 6 of the Caps/Flyers series tonight, I was struck by how great a game Mike Green was having. From the hit he laid on Sami Kapanen (the one where they had to get the Philly Fire Department to pick l’il Sami out of the rigging up in the rafters) to his rapid and purposeful sprints up ice, to his masterful puck handling along the Flyers blueline while on the attack, Green made me a believer. I wish this guy was on our team.

Of course, Green’s play was overshadowed by that of certain a hairy Russian force of nature. What a play Ovechkin made on the go-ahead goal; he blocked the point shot of his constant tormentor Timmonen, then immediately broke for open ice between the two Flyers defencemen, instinctively knowing that the partially blocked shot would surely be recovered by Kozlov and that he had an opportunity for a breakaway – but only if he didn’t hesitate. Ovechkin took two lightning quick steps towards centre and was eight feet past a now very alarmed Timmonen and the much maligned Kozlov hit Ovechkin on the tape with a beautiful pass as Ovie blazed up the middle of the ice. Everybody in the rink, including Martin Biron, knew that Alex the Gr8 would not be denied, and moments later the Caps had taken a very improbable lead.

The Philadelphia fans had barely resumed breathing through their open mouths when, for a change, it was the Flyers who took a “too many men” penalty (really, Gabby – three of those in the last couple of games is waaaaay too many). On the ensuing powerplay, Ovechkin was served up another beautiful pass, this one from Brooks Laich and Ovechkin hammered that thing so hard, everybody seated in the stands behind the goal ought to immediately drive to the nearest church, synagogue, mosque or temple and thank the resident deity or deities that Ovie’s shot bulged the twine, because if that puck had hit the glass it would have killed everybody in the first six rows. Do you think that game will shut the TV monkeys up about Ovechkin needing to “step up”? Probably not; five’ll get you ten that’s still the main theme harped upon by the flapping gums – “monster” or not.

Alex’s interview on TSN after the game was awesome; it was so obvious to me that he wanted to strap the blades on and play Rasputin-PDGame Seven RIGHT NOW. This guy is Rasputin on skates – aside from the near spooky physical resemblance, there is the matter of Mr. Ovechkin’s superhuman constitution to be addressed. He played a shift in the second period that lasted well over two minutes of concerted attack. The Flyers may well need a group of Russian assassins and some cyanide-laced confections to take down their hirsute nemesis, because neither the substantial hits applied within the rules by Richards, Umberger and others, nor the straight up punches to the back of the head administered by the ever-classy Derian Hatcher have done the trick, and the hitherto-successful Philadelphia scheme for Ovechkin prophylaxis by the constant application of major doses of Timmonen has run its course. Ovie has figured out how to get away from that coverage, as evidenced by the six shots he had on goal in Game Five and the further seven (not to mention two goals) he added tonight.

This is going to be a great Game Seven.

Can I ask what the hell Pierre McGuire was babbling on about when he kept referring to Martin Biron’s “active glove”? Umm, Pierre, that’s just stupid. No goalie has a “passive” glove. They catch stuff with them. They’re called “trappers” and “blockers” for a reason; these items of equipment represent an active concept. Anyone who stands there just waiting to get hit, is… well, Andrew Raycroft does that. Perhaps that’s a bad example, but you get my meaning.

As for the other game this evening, I didn’t see much of the Habs/Bruins Game Seven. I did see Game Six of that series and much of Game Five too. One thing I don’t understand is the media babble about Carey Price supposedly having come apart at the seams. The so-called experts point to the ten goals surrendered by the Habs ‘tender in those two games and lazily conclude that Price played poorly. Now I’m no Habs fan, but I do know a classy and talented kid when I see one – Spouse and I were lucky enough to see almost all of Price’s games with the Hamilton Bulldogs during last year’s Calder Cup winning run – and Price is most certainly getting a bum rap from the wags on that one. Yes, he coughed up the puck late in Game Five to put the B’s ahead, and yes, he looked rattled after he made that rookie mistake, but none of the five that got past him on Saturday night in Game Six could be called soft goals. The pundits ought to have been asking where the defensive coverage and veteran leadership was on the Habs bench; how, it might fairly be asked, were the Bruins allowed to continually come back and score throughout the third period? With the series on the line, the Habs got a questionable effort from the Kovalev unit, for example, which was a -3 on the evening. I do not recall hearing much mention being made of that fact; it’s too easy, I guess, to point the finger at the goalie. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for whatever kind of Habs-related misery there can be, but it’s the job of those in the media to correctly identify the reasons why the Habs suck, not to pin the whole shootin’ match on  a twenty year old rookie who was playing in the WHL last year at this time.