HiR:tb Toots (@warwalker)

Maple Leafs Twenty Questions: Funsize Edition

All-time world champion non sequitur (in that, in addition to being unrelated to the topic, it “follows” nothing): My Dad, who seems to be working hard to secure a position as worldwide press agent for HiR:tb, tells me that there’s an army of people out there reading the blog and enjoying what I write. […]

Blood on the Dasher: My Gardens Moment

The General and Norte have both written about Maple Leaf Gardens recently; meanwhile Sean is in the middle of a series consisting of a Clark¹ of posts concerning the greatness that was the Man from Kelvington. A discussion has been raging over at PPP about the proper placement of Mats Sundin in the Maple Leaf […]

Conversations

From email correspondence with my friend Todd:

Todd: On an unrelated note, I was reading the messianic praise of Obama’s speech, and in the article in The Star was a quote from Reagan in the 80’s. He described the Afghans battling the Russian invaders as “freedom fighters”. It confused me. I thought that the term […]

Signs I Have Comically Misread (Part I)

The other day, as Spouse and I were returning home from work, we were driving along a portion of the Steel City roadways that consisted of a fairly abrupt and steep descent. The road was dipping in this extreme fashion to permit passage beneath a rail bridge. There was a diamond shaped sign showing a […]

Let the Pimping Begin.

A while back, you may remember that I posted about a project that peach was putting together. It’s a book called “You’re Not the Only One“, and it was put together for a UK – based charity called War Child (though there is also a Canadian arm of the organization). War Child is a charity […]

One Tractor, With All The Fixins

Going from a one-and-a-half storey house with a shared driveway and a lawn that could be re-sodded with sprigs of parsley to the sprawling pastoral beauty of Juniorvania was bound to mean that a much more substantial portion of our lives was going to be consumed by mowing. We were, accordingly, excited to obtain (in […]

But Can It Do a Wheelie?

Spouse and I implemented the Juniorvanian National Plan for Tractor Reconstruction today, which is to say that we headed off to the local John Deere dealer and plunked down a fat wad of cash for one of these bad boys:

It is a John Deere X300 lawn tractor. I have […]

The Linguistics of Cereal

Taking a break from my Air Traffic Control duties for a moment, I was munching away on some breakfast cereal yesterday. I had let my eyes wander to the side of the cereal box on the table in front of me, and I had drifted into that eyes glazed over, staring into the half-distance kind […]

Breaking News: Leafs Hire Coach / General Manager

TORONTO (JP) – Sources familiar with the inner workings of Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment today confirmed that Alvin Fitzgibbons, 28, has been hired to replace recently fired Paul Maurice and interim G.M. Cliff Fletcher as Coach and General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Fitzgibbons – until recently the Assistant Manager of a McDonald’s […]

Let me tell you about The Pond.

If a person were attempting to describe my day yesterday in monster-movie terms (and I’m guessing there’s more than one of you out there who does this regularly), it would have been called “Junior vs. The Pond: The Draininating of the Slime”.

Juniorvania is mostly a land-locked little paradise, having few riparian rights to speak […]