HiR:tb Toots (@warwalker)

On Duty in the Complaints Dept.

Sitting in in one of the yellow Muskoka chairs under a tree in the backyard. My belly is full, (eggs, bacon, hashbrowns and toast) and I have a warm cup of tea at hand. Popeye is slumbering in the grass about ten feet in front of me. The birds are chirping and warbling. Hanging from […]

Breaking News: Leafs Hire Coach / General Manager

TORONTO (JP) – Sources familiar with the inner workings of Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment today confirmed that Alvin Fitzgibbons, 28, has been hired to replace recently fired Paul Maurice and interim G.M. Cliff Fletcher as Coach and General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Fitzgibbons – until recently the Assistant Manager of a McDonald’s […]

Update

Well, it took longer than I thought, but apparently I got that one right.

Stop! In the Name of Inevitability…

Since reclaiming my driver’s licence about a year ago – no, I didn’t lose it because of a DUI, it just lapsed because….well, that’s a very long story that I’ll have to save for another post – anyway, since I got the dang thing back, I have had an abiding faith in the idiocy of […]

Nomenclature

On the way to work yesterday, discussing the chores we had done in the yard on the previous day, Spouse had occasion to refer to our wheelbarrow as one that is “garden variety”. This is to say that the wheelbarrow in question is not designed for use at shopping malls, church, or fine dining establishments […]

Let me tell you about The Pond.

If a person were attempting to describe my day yesterday in monster-movie terms (and I’m guessing there’s more than one of you out there who does this regularly), it would have been called “Junior vs. The Pond: The Draininating of the Slime”.

Juniorvania is mostly a land-locked little paradise, having few riparian rights to speak […]

Infectious African Diseases at the Mapleview Mall.

I made a quick trip to the mall today, hoping to get some spare parts for the People’s Lawn Improvement Tractor so that it might actually start up and become mobile, which is an excellent quality in a tractor of any kind. The People’s L.I.T. is a Craftsman, and I thought I might be able […]

The Bat-signal for Mike’s IT Guy.

Mike: What’s going on with the comments on your blog, dude? A couple of days ago, you posted some questions about hockey; being the resident Canadian know-it-all and puck freak, I of course immediately mashed keys on my word toaster and zipped you off a responding thingamajig. Something weird happened and the page took a […]

When Good Coaches do Bad Things.

Quickly: I can’t believe Montreal coach Guy Carbonneau started Jaroslav Halak in place of Carey Price at goaltender in last night’s Game 4 matchup with Philly. Bonehead move. I do not understand the thinking behind that; Price had not played poorly in game 3, despite what the sportscasters are blathering about in their 30-second soundbites, […]