HiR:tb Toots (@warwalker)


From email correspondence with my friend Todd:

Todd: On an unrelated note, I was reading the messianic praise of Obama’s speech, and in the article in The Star was a quote from Reagan in the 80’s. He described the Afghans battling the Russian invaders as “freedom fighters”. It confused me. I thought that the term […]

But Can It Do a Wheelie?

Spouse and I implemented the Juniorvanian National Plan for Tractor Reconstruction today, which is to say that we headed off to the local John Deere dealer and plunked down a fat wad of cash for one of these bad boys:

It is a John Deere X300 lawn tractor. I have […]

There are No Small Engines; Just Small Minds

I know you are dying for an update on the People’s Lawn Tractor. I would have posted it yesterday, but I was busy being a miserable prick.

That is mostly because things were not going well with the People’s Lawn Tractor. That business about it not starting on Saturday evening, mid-way through the cut? The […]

The Linguistics of Cereal

Taking a break from my Air Traffic Control duties for a moment, I was munching away on some breakfast cereal yesterday. I had let my eyes wander to the side of the cereal box on the table in front of me, and I had drifted into that eyes glazed over, staring into the half-distance kind […]

Scientific Breakthrough!

Being recent immigrants to the rural paradise that is Juniorvania, and therefore infatuated with all things pastoral and wild, there are something like nine or ten separate bird feeders hanging up in and around the area surrounding The Pond just outside our back door. The rear of our house features several contiguous large windows, offering […]

Breaking News: Leafs Hire Coach / General Manager

TORONTO (JP) – Sources familiar with the inner workings of Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment today confirmed that Alvin Fitzgibbons, 28, has been hired to replace recently fired Paul Maurice and interim G.M. Cliff Fletcher as Coach and General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Fitzgibbons – until recently the Assistant Manager of a McDonald’s […]

Let me tell you about The Pond.

If a person were attempting to describe my day yesterday in monster-movie terms (and I’m guessing there’s more than one of you out there who does this regularly), it would have been called “Junior vs. The Pond: The Draininating of the Slime”.

Juniorvania is mostly a land-locked little paradise, having few riparian rights to speak […]

I’ll Have the Egg Salad…and a Penalty Killing Scheme, Please.

Cliff Fletcher apparently met with the media today to give a horrible season by a bad team the uncomfortable (but not overly time-consuming) eulogy it needed. Wisely preferring not to point fingers at under-achieving players (which might lead to some uncomfortable moments among the pallbearers while interring the corpse), Fletcher further stipulated that the future […]

Shameless Self Promotion Dept.

Hey, my ode to another lost season got front paged at Pension Plan Puppets!

With apologies to Don McLean.

With apologies to Don McLean – not the guy who sits next to Don Cherry on HNIC, the singer/songwriter – I give you an ode to another lost season:

Bye, Bye Mr. Peddie Bye Bye.

Not a long, long time ago… I can still remember How that jersey used to make me smile. And […]