HiR:tb Toots (@warwalker)
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By junior on January 11, 2009, at 9:42 pm We had a truly Canadian evening last night. It was snowing quite hard in the early evening, starting around 6:30 or so, and Spouse and I had earlier determined that we would be attending the hockey game between the St. George Dukes (a local team in the Southern Ontario Junior Hockey League) and the defending league champion Thamesford Trojans.
 Morrison goes to the backhand...denied by Walker! Game time was 7:30; when we rushed out the door shortly after 7, the snow was really pelting down in great thick puffy flakes. We brushed off the car and clambered in, trying to shake off the chill during the drive over to the South Dumfries Community Centre for the big game. Admission was $5; we arrived in time to hear the singing of the national anthem (not sure who the young girl was that did the honours, but she acquitted herself admirably given the suspect p.a. equipment and her understandable nervousness). The game got under way and quickly turned into a spirited contest.
The Dukes, I am unhappy to report, did not seem equal to the task in terms of carrying the play throughout much of the first two periods. Thamesford clearly had the better of the play but did not finish off on its chances; by contrast, St. George scored goals on each and every one of the few chances they had and somehow managed to come away with a 3-1 lead going in to the third period before a vocal crowd of perhaps some fifty or sixty onlookers.
At the beginning of the third, Justin Harburn of the Trojans took matters in to his own hands. He scored three consecutive goals in under two minutes. Suddenly, there were 17 minutes left in the game and St. George was on the wrong end of a 4-3 score. A questionable interference call produced a power play on which the Dukes counted the tying marker. The teams traded chances thoughout the balance of the third, and Harburn – he of the lightning fast hat trick – had at least two more golden opportunities to salt away the victory for Thamesford, but regulation time expired with the clubs knotted at fours. A five minute overtime period of four on four hockey was entertaining, and included another questionable penalty call, this one against the Dukes. In the end, despite some end to end action and hard-hitting play, the overtime solved nothing.
On to the shootout, which Thamesford won in the fourth round to take a well-deserved road victory in to the locker room.
I took my camera and both lenses with me, as well as the monopod that Doug and T. thoughtfully got me for Christmas. I tried to take photographs for much of the game from our seats near centre ice. It gave me a newfound appreciation for the degree of difficulty involved in getting the shot at the critical moments in the game – especially when using long lenses, you kind of have to watch the play with one eye while (with the other) sighting through the viewfinder a target that you think might be important to the play as it develops. Your shutter finger must be poised and at the ready, and you have to constantly be monitoring the light metering, which I found to be quite variable depending upon the position of the play on the ice. You have to do all that while simultaneously trying to watch out for an errant puck being shot into the stands so you don’t get brained while you’re zooming in on two jokers scrapping in the corner.
Most of my results were not very spectacular, though I suppose I didn’t do too badly for a first effort. I did find that the pictures improved when I left my seat and shot from a lower angle, through the rink glass where necessary; this had the effect of putting the viewer more immediately in the action, as if on the ice with the players, and noticeably improved the pictures I got.
There isn’t much light available in a little community rink like that, and it was a struggle to make a sharp exposure. I was pleased with myself for remembering to open up the aperture in addition to bumping up the ISO settings. I tried to get too many images with the 400mm lens at too slow a shutter speed; I know that there is a general rule of thumb about not setting the shutter slower than the lens length, but I needed to break that rule to get any kind of exposure at all. Unfortunately, even with the monopod it is impossible to get any kind of an image at shutter speeds like 1/60 and 1/80.
I switched back to my shorter lens for the shootout. The picture at the top of this post is the game winning save by Trojans goaltender Chris Walker on Dukes forward Reid Morrison. I don’t think Walter Ioos has anything to fear from me just yet, but at least I got the shot. I will be back, and I will try again. Next time out, I resolve to try and get a few reaction shots from the players and coaches on the benches.
By junior on January 10, 2009, at 5:52 pm  How to slide What does it say about the litigiousness of our modern world when a Krazy Karpet – a flexible slab of low friction plastic designed to function as a high-speed/low-safety vehicle for suicidal northern children – comes with a warning label affixed to it?
Lawyers know how to bleed the fun out of absolutely fucking anything, I swear. I mean honestly, a label on a Krazy Karpet ought not to read, under any circumstances, “Do not use…on steep slopes or in icy conditions.” Also, the fact that the sentence “[u]nder certain conditions the product will develop high speed which may cause loss of control” proves that the author of said label either fails completely to understand that this is in fact the very purpose of the Krazy Karpet or is just having some shits and giggles. Also amusing are the mis-spelling of “injury” and the apparent exhortation to “do NOW tow with any vehicle”, which gives some (I suspect) unintentional urgency to the commencement of daredevil sliding, whatever the available means of locomotion.
Spouse and I purchased a couple of these little deathtraps at the local Canadian Tire. Our purpose was to navigate the previously uncharted (well, previously unslid) slopes of Mt. Popeye, in the northern portion of Juniorvania. Spouse attempted the first run.
 Going up the hill. Note the lack of helmet. Maybe we should have chosen an area with fewer trees. Except there is no such place.
 Watch out for that tree. Despite the proximity of the native flora, Spouse walked away unscathed from her initial run. We later designated this area as the “bunny hill.”
 Spouse heads back for more. Feeling confident, I attempted a voyage down the eastern face; it’s a “black diamond” run known locally as “The Widowmaker”. Spouse’s aspect visibly brightened when she learned the name of the run; funny, that.
 The ski patrol was on alert.  Junior experiences operational difficulties. Most of my attempts looked like that. Whatever my skills as a tobogganer though, I was dedicated; Spouse and I were at it for the better part of forty minutes, I would say. Then, at the end of an arduous session of play, I headed back to the house with a song in my heart. And sixteen pounds of snow in my underwear.
 The key is to bring the fun home with you.
By junior on January 9, 2009, at 11:51 pm Some time ago now, I wrote a post about some problems I was experiencing with the transfer of Mini-DV video from my Sony Handycam through a Firewire cable to my computer.
 The offending device I had no idea how common a problem this seems to be. Since posting about my struggles with the camera, that post and posts about my adventures with a Craftsman Lawn Tractor seem to have generated an awful lot of traffic to the site. My camera still isn’t working, but I now think I know why. It occurred to me that an update might help someone else with similar technical problems teetering on the precipice of a murderous rage.
It would appear that the problem in my particular case is the Firewire (IEEE 1394) port on the side of the camera. A close examination of the pins inside the port suggests that somehow one or more of the pins that are supposed to make contact with the IEEE 1394 cable have come off. The port needs to be replaced.
Since the camera warranty is long expired, and I didn’t purchase the extended warranty offered by the retailer, I’m on my own. When I spoke with folks at the Future Shop about getting repairs done, they suggested that it would make more sense to buy a new camera. I’m not ready to go that route just yet, partly because this is already my second Mini-DV camera – the first was a JVC model (GL something or other, I think) that stopped functioning consistently just shortly before Spouse and I were married – it has developed the dreaded E04 Safeguard Mode error, which (according to teh Intarwebs) is a common and apparently lethal affliction for JVC camcorders.
The thing is I have a LOT of material on a number of Mini-DV tapes that I need to be able to access.
The immediate solution I’m going to attempt is to replace the port – or the circuit board on which it’s mounted – myself. Madness, right? Maybe. Maybe not – I found the service manual for the camera at servicemanuals.net and – for a fee of about $15 – downloaded a copy. Now I have a schematic of how the camera comes apart, and (more importantly) how it goes back together. I plan to study it carefully before attempting the dissassembly. I also need to do a little research to find out how much the replacement part or parts will cost, but I don’t expect to be spending more than fifty or sixty bucks.
I will try to remember to post an update on what’s going on with the repair.
In the meantime, if you are experiencing the same sort of problem, my research on the Net suggests that you should:
- test the Firewire cable by connecting another camcorder to it (borrow one from a friend if you have to)- if your operating system immediately detects a camcorder, the problem is with your camcorder, not the cable or computer;
- only connect the camera to the computer when the AC power supply – not the battery – is powering the camcorder. There is some evidence out the problem may occur more frequently when transferring when the camera is powered by battery alone;
- make sure that the “USB streaming” option (in the camera menu) is turned OFF – if this setting is turned on, the camera will not send video through the Firewire port, even when a Firewire cable is attached. Remember, the camera will transfere data either by USB or by Firewire, but not both. I strongly recommend that you choose to use Firewire for all video transfer anyway because the USB transfer is lower resolution video; it has fewer pixels and a lower frame rate, and looks kind of like a crappy webcam. Also, the audio transferred is mono instead of stereo;
- be sure that your camera is set to the “playback”, rather than “camera” mode (though really, it should work in both configurations. Mine used to work regardless of which mode the camera was in);
- if none of the above suggestions fixes the problem, try experimenting with the order in which you are connecting the camera, firing up your software, etc. Try commencing playback on the camera first, then connecting the Firewire cable, then starting your software, then beginning the video capture. If that sequence doesn’t work, try connecting the cable first, then powering up the software and THEN commencing playback, etc.
One more thing – several of the various video forums I combed looking for solutions to the problem had threads in which people were complaining that their camera wasn’t functioning because it didn’t display a “DV Out” message when the Firewire cable was plugged in. Be aware that the camera does NOT and shouldnot display this message. If you’re waiting for those words to appear on your little LCD screen, you’ll be waiting a long time because they don’t appear when the camera is functioning properly. The “DV In” message is simply meant to convey to the user that the camera is receiving DV-related information from the computer to which its attached; all camcorders with Firewire ports are “DV Out” enabled – that’s what the port is for. Not all cameras, however, are designed to receive control signals from the computer (mostly tape transport instructions like fast forward, rewind etc.) If you’re seeing the “DV In” message and your camcorder isn’t transferring video over the IEEE 1394 cable you’ve got connected to it, there is nothing wrong with the cable – the camera is receiving information from the computer. My immediate suspicion is that you need to disable the USB streaming feature in order to START streaming via Firewire.
Wish me luck, I’ll keep y’all posted.
By junior on January 8, 2009, at 9:33 am Chapter One
Look at the men. They are wearing blue and white. Why are the men wearing Blue and White? They are Toronto Maple Leafs hockey players. They are teammates playing a hockey game. They wear blue and white shirts. They wear blue and white pants. The blue and white shirts and pants are called uniforms. Why do the Maple Leafs hockey players wear uniforms? If they did not wear uniforms, they could not be sure that the player they are passing the puck to is on the other team.
 TML for Kids Look at the men’s feet. The men are wearing funny shoes. The funny shoes are called skates. Why are the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey players wearing skates? Judging by the way the Toronto Maple Leafs are playing against the Florida Panthers, no one is really quite sure.
Look at the man at the end of the rink. He is wearing lots of extra padding. Who is the man wearing lots of extra padding? His name is Vesa Toskala, and he is the Toronto Maple Leafs’ goalie. What is a goalie? A goalie stands in the way when men from the other team shoot the puck. A goalie stops the puck and makes a save. Doesn’t that sound scary? Let’s watch Vesa Toskala. See the man with the puck? Shoot, man, shoot! Okay, that one went in the net. It is not a save. Let’s watch again. See the man with the puck? Shoot, man, shoot!. Hmmm, I’m sure Vesa Toskala will stand in the way of one of these shots soon. Maybe we should come back later.
See the man at the bench? His name is Ron and he is a hockey coach. He is the coach of the Toronto maple Leafs. Coach, Ron, coach! What does a coach do? When the players on the team make a mistake, the hockey coach must fix it. The hockey coach must tell the players what they did wrong. He must teach them never to do that again. Doesn’t that sound interesting? Would you like to talk to Coach Ron? That would be fun, but Coach Ron is a VERY busy man.
Look at Vesa Toskala again. See the man with the puck? Shoot, man, shoot! Well, that was not a save either. Let’s watch one more time. See the man with the puck? Shoot, man, shoot! No, still not a save. Yes, I know, I said that Vesa Toskala is a goalie. I know I said that a goalie makes a save. But Vesa Toskala has not made a save. How do I know he’s a goalie? He has a very nice mask.
See the man scowling? His name is Brian. Scowl, Brian, scowl. Brian is the General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs. What is a General Manager? The General Manager’s job is to make the team better. The General Manager’s job is to make the team win. Do you hear Brian talking? Brian says bad words. Brian says filthy words that you must never repeat. Brian is angry. Why is Brian angry? Why is Brian scowling? Why does Brian say bad words?
Wouldn’t you?
By junior on January 7, 2009, at 3:37 pm Cleaning up long ago emails on the Digital Overlord – a message I sent to Doug with this picture enclosed caught my eye and got me laughing. Again.
 I nominate whoever did this for King of the World.
By junior on January 7, 2009, at 1:16 pm It never ceases to amaze me how seemingly intractable problems can be so troublesome on one day and essentially resolve themselves in a flash the next.
 The Digital Overlord Yesterday, in addition to offering up nearly 2,800 words on the subject of my adventures with murderous aquatic pets, I also spent a significant amount of time (perhaps three and a half precious vacation-day hours) trying to batter it into Microsoft Outlook’s electronic brain that I would like it very much if it would perform its designated function and actually pick up my freaking email for me. The problem arose when Spouse and I departed our previous residence for the friendly environs of Juniorvania; in this particular section of the province, there is currently no one offering cable internet access, so our choices for broadband internet access were relatively limited: we had to choose the one that rhymes with “Bell Sympatico”. No, wait, that’s not a rhyme, that’s the name. Dammit.
Because Bell is incapable of correctly performing, on the first attempt, even the most modestly difficult customer service task (such as “signing up a new customer”), and because their incompetence in this regard seemed to be the straw that was breaking the camel’s back (or, more accurately, asploding this particular camel’s brain), Spouse ended up taking over the task of enlisting us in Ma Bell’s Internet army. The account, therefore, was in her name. To the victor go the spoils, and Spouse’s prize for her perserverance in the face of ridiculous stupidity was assignment of the initial email address associated with the account. The Sympatico service actually comes with a complement of 9 additional mailboxes, but the user is responsible for setting those up once the physical service is attached. I consider myself somewhat technically proficient but I have to confess that I was not able to meet the challenge, initially, of wading through the Sympatico propaganda to learn the arcana associated with this minor task – getting myself an email address. Click here to continue reading To Bell Sympatico in a Handbasket: A New Outlook for Outlook 2003
By junior on January 6, 2009, at 11:14 pm
Mike wrote about going to the Birch Aquarium the other day. As is often the case, his post was accompanied by a number of photos he took of the excursion; others that he had taken while at the fish zoo were also posted on his flickr site. I took a few minutes to paw through them, and lit upon this image, which I hope he will forgive me for posting hereabouts without the usual “asking permission” formalities and so on.
It got me thinking about my own adventures in icthyology, many years ago.
Before I tell you the story, you have to promise to keep an open mind throughout. Here’s the dilemma: as a grown-up person, a responsible adult with a job and a family, I am a capable and impressive person. A living embodiment of the frontier spirit, some would say, I am plucky and irrepressible; not the kind of fellow whose bold actions and decisive self-reliance might be derailed by something so insignificant and easily defeasible as “fear.” But I was not born to this devil-may-care attitude; it took time for me to evolve into the tough-as-nails quasi-commando with whom you are now so familiar. Click here to continue reading Less Moray is More, Eh?
By junior on January 4, 2009, at 9:39 pm  No one is admitting to finishing the chips. Please note: This post has been modified since its initial inclusion on the site. In the place where there now appears a lovely artist’s rendering, there used to be a photograph. One of the subjects of that photograph complained – I’m not saying which of the two individuals depicted it was – but, in order to keep the peace, I have taken down the offending photograph and replaced it with the sketch above. In order to understand the balance of this post, just replace the line sketch in your mind with an incredibly crisply focussed photograph.
I love this photo for two reasons: one, it tells the whole story of Saturday night just before dinner (at least ’round these parts); and two, it was taken using no flash, a tripod, and a whopping twenty second exposure. That tells you everything you need to know about the amount of movement that was going on around here in the hour or two just prior to Canada’s semi-final meeting with the Russians in the World Junior Hockey Tournament (a game which Canada ultimately won 6-5, but only barely – in a shootout, after tying the score with 5.4 seconds remaining in the third period).
Technical Note: Over the last couple of days, I’ve had occasion to visit this site with a number of different browsers – I generally use Firefox (v. 3.0.5) on The Digital Overlord, but Spouse’s new HP notebook has a Vista-friendly version of IE Explorer and Spouse’s other new toy, an iPod touch, uses a version of Safari to access the ‘Net. I have noticed with both of these devices that – at times, anyway – photo captions entered seem not to be handled very elegantly, or at all.
I’d be grateful if anyone visiting the site would let me know – in the comments below – what type of browser they’re using, and whether the caption on the above photo came out as planned: the picture itself should be centred in the middle column, with a brief caption centred below the picture.
By junior on January 3, 2009, at 7:10 pm Last night, using this recipe from Slug is Doug, I cooked up some teriyaki chicken balls with snow peas – but no edame.
The verdict: Spouse pronounced it delicious, and I agreed. It will accordingly be making a return trip to our table – not just the leftovers, but freshly cheffed up batch!
For those of you who are, like me, culinarily challenged, a few notes. It may seem basic and stupid, but then again you need to consider the source of this information: when the recipe calls for “ground chicken”, it is important for you to understand that supermarkets sell chicken already ground up, in the same way as beef becomes ground beef. That’s why they call it “ground chicken”. You do NOT need to purchase chicken breasts and then wonder how the hell you’re going to “grind” it. This is a fact that I learned just a touch late; as a result there are two lovely chicken breasts sitting in our fridge, awaiting a trip into the skillet with some butter chicken sauce.
Second, you may not be able to find “edame”. I went to two different grocery stores and scoured several areas of both stores to no avail. In the end, I decided (after a telephone consultation with Doug) to substitute peas for the edame. I don’t know what it’s supposed to taste like with the soy beans, but the version I made was tasty enough.
Third, at the moment of truth – when the meatballs hit the skillet – I hesitated for some reason about putting them all in together, instead choosing to cook them in two batches. That was a mistake; I had to add more oil to the skillet (with the attendant nutritional consequences) and it took twice as long to cook the meatballs, which left my rice a bit of a sticky mess as it awaited the balance of the entree.
Last, the recipe tells you to combine the shallots, ginger and chicken together in a large bowl and to make 16 meat balls. Looking at the bowl full of ingredients, I found myself wondering somewhat how large each meatball should be; I found that using a golf ball as my approximate size model worked out pretty well. When I make this recipe again, I will be chopping the shallots more finely and following the directions more closely to grate the ginger – I chopped up my ginger in a garlic-chopping whatsit that we recently acquired, which was okay, but I was somewhat suspicious about whether there was an even distribution of ginger throughout the ground chicken owing to the somewhat largish chunks created by our garlic thingamajig. You may use any pressure cooker, not only Instant Pot.
My overall impression was that this dish was quite easy to prepare. I suspect it will take me about half the amount of time next time. My next recipe request? Doug mentioned something about making extra meat balls and turning them in to chicken tacos. Tell me more…
By junior on January 2, 2009, at 11:47 am  In 2009, Dad was our first footer, carrying drink, fuel (paper) and food (party mix). Happy New Year, everybody! Traditionally, a house needs a good first footer:someone to enter the home sufficiently supplied with the staples of good fortune and good times – fuel for the fire, food for the stomach, and drink for celebration – to get the inhabitants off to a good start for the new year. The Juniorvanian first footer, in the wee wee hours of Thursday morning, was my Dad. Carrying a couple of bottles of Keith’s (that had been cooling freezing on the beer-fridge/porch), some paper (as easily portable lightweight “fuel”) and a handful of party mix (dubiously satisfying the “food” component of the traditional trifecta), Dad was the tallest and darkest non-resident male at hand. Subsequent research has revealed that a first-footer ought not to have been in the house at the stroke of midnight, so next year we’ll send Dad for beer with a few seconds to go before the Big Moment.
A blog needs a first footer too, right? The first post of the New Year ought to bring a little bit of everything in the virtual door, enough to assure its audience of continued reading prosperity in the coming year. Here then, is a compendium of what this blog has been about over the past year. Besides, what better way to shake the fog out of a still celebration-addled brain than to consider afresh the year so recently departed?
January began hopefully, with happy news about the founding of the Great Kingdom of Juniorvania and the impending migration of our people to the new homeland. By the end of the month, there was bad news about the sudden and all too early death of a friend.
February brought us “Child Bouncers“. I also broke up with the television program “Lost”.
With March came a photo essay on a snowstorm. For the Leafs, there was first hope, then the unofficial end of the season. Finally, there was news from the fledgling Kingdom of Juniorvania of an invasion.
Much of April was spent with the Adopt-a-team project idea that I came up with: like-minded Leaf fans and I, left without a date for the dance, would follow the Washington Capitals for the duration of their run through the playoffs. I had fun getting to know the players on another team more completely and hanging around at two Caps fan sites – Japers’ Rink and On Frozen Blog. Caps fans were welcoming and good-natured, they even cleared some elbow room on the bandwagon for us, perhaps to their detriment: it could have been the mojo of the Leafs that saw the Caps eliminated after seven thrilling games against Philadelphia.
It doesn’t matter which angle you look at it from, May was a banner month, defined by my struggles with a Craftsman Lawn Tractor and my nephew Thomas’ impromptu audition for the Juniorvanian Olympic swimming team. Too bad the little fellow didn’t know we hadn’t qualified for Beijing. As for the yard equipment angle, to this day the phrase “Craftsman Lawn Tractor” is one of the search phrases that most frequently brings traffic from Google to this site; I can only wonder what those folk think if and when they take the time to read the post. Incidentally, the inclusion of this review and its two (oops, here we go again) three mentions of the phrase “Craftsman Lawn Tractor” will probably only enhance that effect. Enjoy, Google people! Let me know what you think!
 The JRV Eradicator - The People's Lawn Tractor In June, Gord Kirke was looking for a job despite the fact that he was “busy”. Meanwhile, I was taking my maiden voyage on the JRV Eradicator, otherwise known as the People’s Lawn Tractor.
July and August were pretty slow around these parts. I had excuses: I blamed a fishing trip (the full account of which is in the “promised, but undelivered” category), the hitching of my brother Doug, and preparations for the First Annual Founders’ Day, including the inaugural Juniorvanian Open Championship of 3-Par Golf.
My brother Mike and brother-in-law Jono kick off the Founders' Day festivities September saw the commencement of my no doubt lengthy career as a zombie shambling along the aisles of Home Depot, and the beginning of a too-long period of silence hereabouts that continued into October, owing to a certain charity event and the commencement of various local improvement projects in the great nation of Juniorvania, the last of which was the replacement of one battered mailbox (mmm, battered mailbox – tasty).
In November, Wendel Clark’s jersey was honoured by the Leafs, and I started – and stop if me if you have heard this one before – but didn’t finish (yet) NaNoReMo 2008 with my faithful Internet friend Mike.
In December, I posted about Sebastien’s Theme and some of my favourite days with the Heroes in Rehab. What I was really thinking about was the imminent departure of my brother Mike and his family for their new home in Chicago.
What does this year-long review tell us? First, that there are too many lengthy periods where I ignore this site and leave it lying fallow. I’m not very good for keeping New Year’s resolutions, but I am going to attempt, in 2009, to be slightly more consistent in my posting habits. I can’t promise a post a day like Mike manages to do, but I promise, promise, promise to be a better blogger. Second, it is my own considered opinion that this blog started to find its purpose a little more clearly – in my own opinion I tend to hit my stride as a writer more when I recount personal stories. It’s fun to write about the Leafs, politics and the world out there, but I wrote truer to my own voice when I tell you about life here in Juniorvania, the many ways that our power equipment is trying to kill me, or the time I busted my head open at Maple Leaf Gardens.
To all a happy, healthy and successful new year.
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